I have put on weight
I hate myself.
I am now 50.45KG or 7ST 13LB
I'm never eating again
Friday, 17 April 2009
Day one Fast
Okay so its 1.25 and I have just woken up! Its coz I was online till late last night,this means i have already got through a load of the day with out eating!Today i am going to keep myself busy busy busy. I will do some sit ups and maybe go for a long walk.I was looking at http://thinfrustrations.blogspot.com/ and http://proanaquest.blogspot.com/ they both made list about why they need to be skinny. I agreed with almost all of them.
I want people to look at me and think wow i wish i looked like that.
I want people to ask me what clothes size i am and to be able to say 4
I want to be able to not need food, i want to see it as just food.
I want my friends to be insanly jelous of me (that sonds bad but truth!)
I want to model
I want to reach the perfect weight then everything else will be clear it self up.
Yes I know all those things are probs unhealthy and yes i wish i didnt have issues about food and i wish i was one of those people who are just naturally skinny and they eat what ever they want but I'm not. I'd rather be skinny than be normal with food.
So I have a ana friend that i found on a forum and we are fasting together.I am so excited about not eating i cant wait to feel hungry! Does anyone know how long i should fast for.I have only ever fasted for about 3 days at the most.But i am really motivated this time.
Holidays
Right I am actually hating this one because I have had an amazing time with my friends but its so hard to not eat when I'm at some one elses house or when I am with all my mates.I will be stronger though.When i get back to school I will be back to routine meals wich will be much easier to miss or throw away with out any one noticing.Is it just me with the holiday thing?
I'll post tinight about how the fast is going.I feel so strong i will do it!
One Day...
I want people to look at me and think wow i wish i looked like that.
I want people to ask me what clothes size i am and to be able to say 4
I want to be able to not need food, i want to see it as just food.
I want my friends to be insanly jelous of me (that sonds bad but truth!)
I want to model
I want to reach the perfect weight then everything else will be clear it self up.
Yes I know all those things are probs unhealthy and yes i wish i didnt have issues about food and i wish i was one of those people who are just naturally skinny and they eat what ever they want but I'm not. I'd rather be skinny than be normal with food.
So I have a ana friend that i found on a forum and we are fasting together.I am so excited about not eating i cant wait to feel hungry! Does anyone know how long i should fast for.I have only ever fasted for about 3 days at the most.But i am really motivated this time.
Holidays
Right I am actually hating this one because I have had an amazing time with my friends but its so hard to not eat when I'm at some one elses house or when I am with all my mates.I will be stronger though.When i get back to school I will be back to routine meals wich will be much easier to miss or throw away with out any one noticing.Is it just me with the holiday thing?
I'll post tinight about how the fast is going.I feel so strong i will do it!
One Day...
Thursday, 16 April 2009
Thursday 16th April 2009
So I'm starting this blog because all the pro ana/mia sites say to! Also i am really hoping it will help me to controll my eating, like if i am thinking about eating somthing that i know i will regret later I will stop myself because i know i will have to admit it to you readers! Well I'm sure no one will be reading this but on the off chance you are then please comment.
Starting from tomorrow I'm going to fast, Loads of people say that this is a bad idea on other sites but it makes me feel proud of myslef and i long to feel good.I actually like feeling hungry it gives me a sense of achievment.I long to look like the girls in the thinspo's.I would love to have tiny thighs.None of my friends or family no any of my issues some times my mum helps me with out meaning to, as she is always dieting i just follow her. My friends wouldnt understand and would try and make me change but the thing is i know i will only be happy when I'm skinny and everything else will just fall into place.When i read that back it sounds silly but if i really think about it I truly do believe everything would be so much better if i was thin.
I would really apriciate any comments as this is my first blog ( I wont normally ask so much,its just it would really boost my confidence for making the next one.
one day...
Starting from tomorrow I'm going to fast, Loads of people say that this is a bad idea on other sites but it makes me feel proud of myslef and i long to feel good.I actually like feeling hungry it gives me a sense of achievment.I long to look like the girls in the thinspo's.I would love to have tiny thighs.None of my friends or family no any of my issues some times my mum helps me with out meaning to, as she is always dieting i just follow her. My friends wouldnt understand and would try and make me change but the thing is i know i will only be happy when I'm skinny and everything else will just fall into place.When i read that back it sounds silly but if i really think about it I truly do believe everything would be so much better if i was thin.
I would really apriciate any comments as this is my first blog ( I wont normally ask so much,its just it would really boost my confidence for making the next one.
one day...
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